Featured Post

Sava Gromov on the scene

You may wonder who the heck is the unknown Mr. Gromov?  To put it bluntly, he is the main character of Sovereign, the new emerging spa...

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Gone wild with fat girls

The famous quote from Death Note “This world is rotten!” shall be written to a stone, placed on a space probe, and sent into the deep Universe as a fair warning for unfortunate aliens, coming in peace.

My recent blog post about Twitter parrots changed nothing, so I have no reason to think this one will perform otherwise. With all respect to my colleagues, who desperately beg for attention, while spamming the virtual space by tons of memes, shout-outs, and half-decent promotion, with all respect I have to ask: Is this necessary?

Recently, I’ve stumbled upon this tweet:

Before I dissect this message, I would like to state I bear no grudge against the author, fat girls, public areas, or insecurity. The tweet from above is just an example, one of many foul tweets, which plague cyberspace.

You may think: “Ouch! What is wrong with that? I do it all the time.”

“Nothing really.”

“But you said…”

Exactly so. My insignificant person does not appreciate nonsenses. I am old, grumpy, bitter, and I hate novelties. The only novelty I appreciate is the word “procrastinate”. Back in my times, they would have called me lazy, but now I procrastinate and waste my existence on Twitter.

Anyway, even under a constant attack of the sloth, I cannot throw away my precious minutes by reading the tweets of no importance. Women and girls spending ample mental capacity by pondering their appearance, this is a well-known occurrence, but honestly, even people obsessed by their mortal shells have to go outside eventually, don’t they?

The tweet sounds like the “fat girl” was locked inside, peeking occasionally at the world of healthy and slim people, while feasting on an enormous amount of sweets. Just imagine a morbidly obese Disney’s princess, waiting for a rescue by a prince who is riding a warhorse and dragging a crane. 
The final happy end would show our hooked heroine floating down like a snowball. After the act of a kiss, the fat layer dissolves into a brand-new maiden with gentle eyes and a skinny stature. The overweighted audience bursts into applause, having their dreams come true.

I guess this is not the picture the author had in mind writing this tweet. But she seems genuinely excited, almost like a prisoner released after twenty long years. So many exclamation marks! She explained to me later that taking a crop top was an act of bravery.

Unfortunately for her, my imagination has gone wild again. Abandoning  the innocent world of Disney, my main character tiptoed from her house wearing crop-top. She is not going to lie (NGL in her abbreviated language) she is scared, but for the sake of humanity, she left the safety of her shelter. Now it is her turn to save the prince charming, apparently.

By the way, you can admire how I jumped from gender inappropriate fairy tale, in which the heroine waits passively for the rescuer, to the more modern gender inappropriate dystopian sci-fi, in which a clueless man waits for omni-potent heroin in crop top.

Did I say a dystopian sci-fi? Of course, the future where the police forces hunt oversized women, perhaps because they consume too much of food resources, so they are supposed to be a threat for humanity. Such circumstances would explain why the author of the tweet felt scared and insecure.

You see now?

The morbid creativity, entangled in an innocent tweet, will bring a hell of picturesque suffering to its owner. I beg you, stay decent in your public speeches. You’ll never know who is listening. Or you will end up as a target of an impertinent jester who have nothing better to do than to analyze word by word what should be a private sign of inner insecurity.